


Slight Infatuation

by Hammocker



Category: The Darkness, The Darkness (Games)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Internal Monologue, M/M, Mentions of Masturbation, Mentions of Tentacle Sex, Other, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 22:53:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammocker/pseuds/Hammocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny really needs to learn how to be direct.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slight Infatuation

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a little idea that was gnawing at my head for a while after I played The Darkness II to the point where I had to write something for it. My apologies for any grammar that is clearly extremely rough and characterization that might be off in places.
> 
> I love Johnny's voice-over work. It's very fast and natural and it just sticks with you. Really, this piece started as just the opening monologue. Then, of course, it expanded and I fussed over it, but it's still not quite right. That happens a lot with me.
> 
> I may or may not finish this work. Depends on how I feel, and whether or not it gets much reception.

Okay, so it's like this: I've got an affinity for all things occult and this gets me noticed by certain interested parties on occasion. Sometimes its just some nobody off the street who wants a bit of info on some artifact he's picked up someplace or another, but most of the time it's the Darkness' host himself, Jackie Estacado. Decent enough guy, kind of quiet, really fucking scary, but the pay's good, but that's not what I'm interested in right now. I've seen him do his thing, go all dark, get covered in that armor that the Darkness gives him, grow those- those tentacles. Now, that's really fucking cool in itself. I'd like to have those tentacles. Hell, I'd like to study his tentacles at least. He doesn't let me because the Darkness would probably rip my face off, but I'd still like to.

I'll admit that I like it when the Darkness starts whispering to me. The thing sweet talks better than your average whore ever will, but just like a prostitute, it doesn't mean a word of what it says. Not that I would know anything about hookers, but you get the idea. So, Jackie sprouts these tentacles whenever he needs the Darkness to help him fight. Yeah, he has the ones with faces that eat hearts and grab things, but I don't give a rat's ass about those, not now anyway. No, the ones I'm interested in are the more plausible ones, the ones he never uses to fight for some reasons, the ones that you would see on octopi, except without the little suckers. Octopuses? Octopis? Octo- Fuck it, fuck the plurals, doesn't matter. What I'm saying is that I have a bit of a fixation on the tentacles that Jackie doesn't use all too often. Okay, maybe not a bit of one, but a lot of one, and, God help me, it won't go away. I have jerked off thinking of these things too many times. God, whatever god there might be, save my soundly screwed soul, I've fingered myself thinking about Jackie's tentacles. I don't think this is normal, but I guess normality gets thrown out the window when you know every little detail of every object infused with Dark Essence out there, and the closest thing you have to a friend happens to be possessed by a horribly violent, dark spirit thing. Not that Jackie would let anyone get close to him anymore. Speaking of tall, dark, and terse himself, Jackie is in the room now so I'm going to shut up before he thinks I've completely lost it.

*****

“You bring me such nice things,” I start off after explaining the Lantern to Jackie, tapping my fingers together. “Thumb screws, and a cylinder with a foreskin, and a lamp filled with souls of dead children. What else could a guy want?” I ask, trying not to sound rhetorical and staring at Jackie with an expression as close to expectant as I could get without slipping into terror.

My employer swivels his head to give me a glance for a few seconds before returning to observing the relics. Clearly he had not gotten the message yet, so I continue on. “Not that you have to do anything for me at all, but then again I didn't exactly ask you to bring in these relics, but you still expect me to have a spiel on every single on of them, but that's okay, I'll do that and put it under the list of things I get paid for because, hey, I get a good salary and staying here is a whole hell of a lot better than living in a cardboard box. You know, a hurricane probably couldn't take your place down, but just a drizzle, and my box collapses in on itself. I have had to live through at least a dozen box implosions and every single one was more tragic than the last.”

“What do you want, Johnny?” Jackie finally asks me, looking a bit unnerved by my focused burst of words. Which he should have been; usually when I happen to be more coherent than normal, it means that something awful either has happened or is about to. Not in this case though. No, here, I just really, really wanted something.

“Oh, now, he gets it! No offense, Jackie, but it's not easy approaching you about things, you know? I mean, you're not exactly the warmest of people, but that doesn't mean I don't like you. Don't look at me like that, I'm not going to ask if I give the Crescent of the Sun a test, you already told me “no,” and I can take a hint. No, I just want- I just... Ah, fuck, this is harder than I made it out to be in my head.” For a moment, I pace in a circle, producing frustrated growls and grunts as I search for the right words. After about half of a minute of Jackie giving me a look like I had gone insane understandably so, the words finally come to me, “Tentacles. Whenever you call on the Darkness, you sprout fucking tentacles.”

Once more, a look of incredulity, and a slight annoyance, “Yeah. What about'em?” He asks, completely oblivious.

What about them? Well, they're the the most goddamn distracting things I've ever seen, and I want you to fuck me with them. That was what I would have liked to say, so I say something more trivial, “The ones that grow on your back, the ones you don't use, what are they for? You ever do anything with them? Can they grab anything? I mean, I guess the Darkness wouldn't appreciate being used just so your lazy ass doesn't have to get up, but I'm just asking because I wanna know.”

He gives me another dark look at the comment about being lazy, but the answer is straight forward enough, “I never use them 'cause I never need them. They can pick shit up, sure; hell, they're sturdy enough to lift me up off the ground. I just never thought it was all that useful while I'm shooting people. The snake heads are more effective at ripping people apart anyway.”

Wonderful, the head of the mafia family thinks that heavy lifting tentacles are not "all that useful." And he wonders why he gets so badly injured in battle so often. I can't complain though. Better to move on to what I want. “Could you grab anyone with them? Say, hm, how about me?”

“Sure, wouldn't be hard. Don't know why I would though,” Jackie says, shrugging.

No, you really have no idea, I respond internally, gritting my teeth together now. “Well, what if I asked you to? Like if I wanted it.”

Jackie turns his head to look at me again, raising an eyebrow. “Why would y'want that? I woulda thought you'd wanna stay outta the fray.”

“See, that's the thing, Jackie.” I move closer to him. In fact, I move so close that I feel like he might shove me away at any second. He doesn't, even when there's less than a foot between us. “I don't want you to kick my ass like you would normally do with those tentacles with heads, I just want you to pound my ass with one, or two, or five of the smaller ones.” Now the words are out, and Jackie is staring at me like I just asked him to go shave the mane off of a lion. Though whether or not he is pleased, which I doubt he is, remains to be seen. In fact, even the look of disbelief on his face goes away after a moment, and he stops looking at me. I'm positive that I'll be backhanded sometime in the next moment, but, once again, Jackie decides that my expectations are what needs to be throttled.

“Do you think that's safe?” he asked.

“Sure, sure, so long as the Darkness doesn't decide that I don't need my colon, or my stomach, or maybe my soul in the middle of things, it should be fine,” I assure him. I really hope that the Darkness doesn't decide that I don't need my colon. I like my colon.

Once more Jackie pauses, but this time he speaks. Not to me, not to himself, no. I get the impression now that those pauses before have just been the Darkness gabbing in his ear the whole time. “If you say so,” he mutters, barely moving his mouth. He looks back to me. “It'll behave itself for the night. Come up to my room later.”

I blink slowly before staring at him in utter disbelief. “Just like that?”

“Yeah,” Jackie answers. “Who knows? You might just be more useful than usual, Johnny.” And with that, he's out the door before I can even start wondering what exactly he meant.


End file.
